Feeling Seoul-ful

Making the Most of Your Two Treasured Days....

2010-01-31T19:44:00.000-08:00

For Christmas this year my little brother got me my very first cookbook: Katie Brown's Weekends, Making the Most of Two Treasured Days. I was totally excited. I am working at my very first post grad school job, and living in my very first solo apartment, with my very first non-family pet so you can imagine how having my very first cookbook to put on my very first bookshelf was quite the momentous occasion. Of course having that job has caused me to have very little time to sit down and flip through the cookbook let alone try out some of the recipes. While Katie may have "Two Treasured Days" each week to whip up the 130 Recipes, Projects, and Ideas included in her bible of domesticity I, on the other hand, am lucky to get one day without work and I'm usually so tired that even the thought of doing more than ordering a pizza and watching Six Feet Under reruns in bed all day with my cat leaves me hiding under the covers.

So, it was with great surprise and pleasure that I sat down last night to actually spend some time in Katie Brown's world, after she's spent more than a month on my bookshelf. The first thing I noticed was that she's from Petoskey, which is cool, as I am also from a small Michigan town. I felt Katie and I were kindred spirits already and I hadn't even hit the table of contents. The book is dedicated to her Uncle Meredith, her "relative soul mate," who she thanks for always being there and understanding her. If I dedicated any sort of book to any uncle of mine it would probably say something a little less poetic like, "Thanks for the booze, it always made Christmas more bearable." But that's neither here nor there.

The book is really beautiful, full to the brim with ideas for charity work, recipes for moroccan food, tips to get organized, ways to appreciate nature, and of course, a decoration guide for the holidays. As I read through it I couldn't help but look up at the plain white walls of my apartment and envision them full of fabric covered embroidery hoops. I could see the perfect place for a refurbished old trunk in which to keep my tissue paper, ribbons, and bows. The fact that I don't have any tissue paper, ribbons, or bows and that I wrapped my office Secret Santa present in a paper grocery bag wasn't important, I would get these things, and when I did I would put them in a refurbished trunk right next to my new fabric covered cork board covered in pads of sticky notes perfect for To Do lists and reminding myself to buy cat food.

As I flipped page after page I got more and more sucked into Katie's world. I wanted buckets full of room specific cleaning supplies, and a map of my neighborhood complete with where the mean dog lives and the house that gives out the best Halloween candy. I didn't care that I live in an apartment complex that doesn't allow dogs, and in a country that doesn't celebrate Halloween, I wanted to make the map and give it to my new neighbors along with a loaf of freshly made cinnamon bread, even though I only have a toaster oven! Katie became the woman I want to be: put together, organized, creative, and totally on top of things. The kind of woman who manages her time so well that she spends Saturday mornings premaking muffin batter and roasting lemon herbed stuffed chickens so she can use them all week, and still has time to go for a nature hike, gather a basketfull of leaves and branches and turn them into an art project. All before she has her friends over for a homemade Moroccan feast where she wraps her silverware in hand beeded napkin rings and covers her table in home made "Golden Starry Table Tiles." Forget Wonder Woman, I want to be Katie Brown!

Then I started looking around my apartment : the unfolded laundry, the dirty dishes, the chair I put on top of a desk so I could reach to change a lightbulb and have left there because my cat has turned it into his thrown. The fish tank that hasn't seen water or fish for 6 months because, though I thoroughly read every article on Goldfish911.com, I just couldn't seem to keep a fish alive for more than a week. My sheets need to be washed. There are bits of acrylic paint stuck to my dining room table from my last attempt at channeling Monet. Clearly I am not Katie Brown material.

The thought stuck with me until it really started to hurt. It seemed that I was just not cut out for domestic goddessness. And then I got to thinking. Who does Katie Brown's dishes after she's done roasting chickens and baking cinnamon bread for her new neighbors? It couldn't possibly be her, how could she do the dishes and have time for a nature hike? And what about laundry? Who is folding Katie Brown's clothes and putting them back into her tissue paper lined drawers? And what kind of woman has time to go to the fabric store to pick out material for a wall art project? She's going to need to go to at least 3 different grocery stores to find all the ingredients for her Moroccan feast. That wouldn't leave much time for cooking the "Cinnamon, Ginger, and Cumin Lamb Stew" let alone hand beading the napkin rings! Either Katie Brown has some major help, or she's LYING!

I want you to know Katie Brown, if you're out there, I am in no way challenging your culinary or creative talents. But by showcasing what you spend your weekends doing, when clearly you have major help during the week to allow for such weekend freedom is just poor form. I mean come on. You're making the rest of us 9-5, pizza orderers who don't live in neighborhoods and come home to a cat feel bad. Maybe your next book could be something more realistic like, "Very Small Projects the Working Woman Can Do On Her Day Off that Won't Break the Bank or Her Back but Will Still Impress the Hell Out of Her Neighborhood (If She Has One)."

Winter.

2009-12-10T06:36:00.001-08:00

Of all the winters I have lived through, I can truthfully say I have only really enjoyed one. I was living in Hawai'i where it never got below 75 degrees, my favorite rooftop bar was featuring half off holiday mojitos, and even Santa wore board shorts. What could be more perfect? Well, believe it or not there are people (strange, senseless, irrational people) who would disagree. These people wait all year to zip up their Carhartt's, gas up their snowmobiles, and hit the trails aided only by their courage and a thermos full of Schnapp's laced hot chocolate. Yes, these people actually exist, and they all live in my home town.

Each year, on the morning of the first snow fall, all the families of the small midwestern town I call home pull their snowmobiles infront of St. Mary's Catholic Church to watch old Father McKenna sprinkle each sparkling Ski-doo with holy water. With gloved hands clasped in prayer and tears in their goggled covered eyes these families not only welcome winter, they celebrate it. I am not from one of those families. My earliest memory of winter is not of snowmen and sleighrides, it's of my dad, wrapped in his bathrobe, running up and down our stairs in an attempt to keep warm while simultaneously cursing God and the furnace repair man.

When I was six years old my mother told me the story of the little girl who decided to lick the ice crystals off the flag pole at school. Her tongue stuck to the metal and she never. talked. again. For the next 4 years I refused to even put ice cubes in my KoolAide. And while my fear of going through life as a mute kept me indoors drinking ice-less beverages during the winter months the rest of my town bravely headed down to the lake to engage in the only winter activity more popular than drunken snowmobiling: ice fishing. Diesl trucks pull ice shanties bigger than my first apartment onto the frozen water so that Carhartt wearing fishermen can sit around a hole, and wait. One winter my dad's friends actually convinced him to take part in this ludicrous activity. Not bothering with a shanty they hauled my brother's row boat down to the lake shore taking with them their fishing poles, a pick axe, and a bottle of scotch. My dad returned four hours later red nosed and fishless to find my mother waiting for him, with our new priest, who she had invited for dinner that night. All I can say is that it's a good thing we're Catholic.

For me winter means getting up early (something I try to avoid at all costs even if it means sleeping in my clothes and stacking nutrigrain bars in my glove compartment) to start my car and scrape the windshield. And, if you are, like me, one of the garage-less there is no way to get around this heinous task. Believe me, I have tried. In college my dread-headed next door neighbor convinced me that you could save at least 5 minutes by skipping the scraping and just throwing hot water on your windshield, so I did. Luckily, I managed to avoid ever cracking the glass. I also managed to successfully freeze myself into my car after using the hot water method to open an ice covered door and then driving the 15 minutes to class in subzero temps.

Perhaps the only redeeming quality about the winter season (besides going on vacation somewhere tropical) is the added exercise. I know what you're thinking, "Exercise? Who would want to head outside in the cold for additional exercise?" Clearly you're not taking into account what attempting to push a car up a steep and ice covered driveway does to your heart rate. How hauling old towels, straw, sawdust, birdseed and hamster bedding (just a few of the many items I've used) outside in an attempt to give your wheels some traction can really build your muscles. And finally the extra calories burned when after a month of pushing, and pulling, and salting you give up and just park your car on the street, where your mailbox used to be before the snow plow came by, and walk.

So here's to winter: To getting rear ended before you've even left the parking lot. To ackward conversations over Aunt Mindy's meatballs at forced family gatherings. To black ice bruises and frost bitten fingers. To seasonal depression and bottles of scotch. To ice covered windshields, straw covered driveways, and the little girl who licked the flag pole. And to everyone who must endure her wrath, the best of luck.

"No Big Size," - Shopping in South Korea

2009-12-08T04:28:00.001-08:00

The tree is up and the lights are twinkling, yes, the holiday season is officially here. My favorite time of the year when a diet of sugar cookies and pumpkin pie, and a wardrobe of slippers and sweat shirts, are not only accepted but encouraged, and the only running I'll be doing is towards a sign that says, "SALE." With our new Holiday Show finally through previews and fully open, and my work with next season's script writers finished I decided it was time to brave the cold and the crowds and take a trip into Seoul to do some much needed shopping. I needed to buy a gift for my boyfriend, as well as my at work Secret Santa, and much more importantly find a new holiday dress for the UNICEF concert I'm performing in this weekend. The other 10 dresses I have just weren't going to cut it (I think any woman who has ever had a special event or a hot new coworker knows what I mean).

Seoul is a shopper's paradise: subway stations, malls, markets, and virtually every street corner north and south of the Han river are filled with sweaters, skirts, leggings, and some of the cutest ballet flats I've ever seen all at ridiculously low prices....and in ridiculously small sizes. I spent my college years a size 16, played in an intramural beer pong league, and considered Old Navy's Plus Size section proof that Jesus loved me. And while 8 show weeks, and my inability to complete 9am dance workshops with a hangover, have helped me lose the beer and 40 pounds my size 9 frame is still too large for Korean clothing. A fact I am reminded with again and again as each trip into a Korean clothing store begins with me pulling a cute dress of the rack and ends with a pint sized sales woman pulling it out of my hands, looking me up and down, and saying, "No big size," while pointing me towards the door.

I know what you're thinking, "Too fat for clothes? Don't worry, girl! Pull on your stretch pants and head to Payless." If only it were that easy. In Seoul, the only thing scarcer than a double digit skirt is a double digit shoe size. Were this the case somewhere else, somewhere where say, moderately expensive shoes are found only in moderately popular shoe stores, this would be unfortunate. In Korea, where a pair of glittering sandals and some fresh mandu will cost you less than $15 bucks and can be found on each and every street corner, it's downright painful. I have tried to convince myself that this is a blessing in disguise. If the shoes fit I would spend all my extra cash on them and then have to pay to ship them home. That worked for about 15 minutes. Water, water everywhere....

So after a Toffee Nut Latte and a quick glance through the "99% real" Louis Vuitton wallets on display by a street vendor I wandered into the first of a block of massive department stores determined to find a dress for my upcoming concert. Miniature clothing be damned there are women in Korea who weigh more than 100 pounds, and though they are elusive creatures, I have seen them..fully clothed..and that gave me hope.

To begin my search I chose a small, boutique-like store on the 3rd floor. I entered carefully, keeping my head down, trying to avoid any eye contact that would cause a saleswoman to offer to help, and then help me right out of the store. Like a navy seal sneaking through the water and onto an enemy beach, I slowly made my first lap around the perimeter determined not to draw attention to myself: no stopping, and definitely no touching the clothes. Cocktail dresses and perfectly ornamented cardigans called to me, oversized knits and colorful blazers beckoned me, their buttons shining in the flourescent light. I thrust my hands deeper into my jacket pockets, and squeezed them into fists until my knuckles turned white and my fingernails made crescent shaped imprints in my palms. I kept moving knowing that even one pause, one hiccup, and I would lose my resolve.

I was nearly three quarters of the way around when I saw it. Hanging between a slim pair of black winter wool shorts and a saffron yellow pea coat was the dress, not a dress, the dress. The black strapless bodice was made of tight vertical pleats which banded just below the bust line in a gloriously tummy-friendly empire waist, while the skirt had amazing diagonal shuttering. And while I'm not usually a fan of sequins (nothing says "showgirl" like sequins) these perfectly placed sparkles said, "holiday party," not, "pole dance." My feet stopped walking, my fists uncurled, my act was over.

There were 3 sizes of the dress hanging and after eyeballing the biggest one I reached for it to look at the tag and determine if I should hope, or give up now. Just as I reached inside the neckline and my fingers curled around the tag, there she was: my pint sized nightmare. In one swift movement she had the dress in her arms, the tag out, and was giving me that all too familiar look I knew could only end in pain and disappointment. "Try on," I asked hopefully, gesturing towards the fitting rooms at the back of the store, "Ok?" She lowered her gaze to my feet and I knew what was coming. As her eyes slowly made her way from my boots to my leggings I made a last ditch attempt at victory. Dropping my purse to the floor I quickly whipped off my jacket, thanking God that I had worn a form fitting top instead of a bulky sweater. "Look!" my mind screamed, "Look! Look how much slimmer I am without my jacket!"

I don't know if it was the look of desperation in my eyes or my tummy control underwear but somehow I had done it. With a nod and a quick, "Ok," she turned and started towards the dressing rooms. I stood there in shock. It had happened, I had finally passed the Korean-saleswoman-eyeball-test-of-shame, I was worthy. And that's when it hit me. If I was going to let this saleswoman decide my worth, I had much bigger problems than fitting into a cocktail dress. I can bench press 60 pounds and hit a high C. I can do my own french manicure and last Friday I successfully made Julia Child's Favorite Roast Chicken..using a toaster oven. I have a wonderful family, great friends, a boyfriend who loves me, and a cat who bites me far less than he used to. I am worthy, and I don't need a pint sized Korean saleswoman to tell me that.

I'd like to say that I swelled up with self pride, told the saleswoman exactly where she could stick that dress, and left the store, but that would be lying. I picked up my stuff and followed her to the dressing room, and while she waited outside the door, tapping her child sized foot, I took my sweet time trying it on, and it fit.

Africa!!!

2009-10-18T19:26:00.000-07:00

My whole life I've wanted to go to Africa and two days ago we booked tickets to go to Kenya for a week long safari!! I am beyond excited!! Originally we were going to use our January vacation to go Vietnam/Cambodia which would be cheaper and very nice but then we started thinking about where we really, really want to go..and a safari was at the top of the list. We're flying to Nairobi on January 3rd at 7:15pm and starting our safari to the Masai Mara, Lake Nahkuru, and Amboseli the next day. As of right now we haven't chosen a safari company, we're still shopping around, but we have some great options! Exciting too is that friends of ours who are from South Africa and leaving EV for home next week may join us. Either way, I'm so excited I can hardly sit down long enough to get the 20 vaccinations needed to go...ok I'm exaggerating just a bit :-).

Planning this trip has really reminded me to be thankful for where I'm at. With the US economy being what it is and so many people out of work I'm living in a place with a steady paycheck where all my bills total less than $150.00 each month. Like I wrote last week Anand and I are still going back and forth on when to leave Korea for the US but with this trip planned we may end up staying through mid June and heading back in time for a wedding of one of Anand's best friends. We'll see.

In other news...I did a show this week for 4 people..in a 600 seat theatre. What made it even better was that half way through the mom left taking her young son with her and the dad fell asleep...so we put on a show for the little girl who was still awake sitting on her dad's lap. Talk about personal service. Talk about a depressing performance.

Well, I guess that's about all I have to report. Headed into Ilsan later to get my hair cut and go out to dinner. :-)

When did it become fall?

2009-10-11T23:57:00.000-07:00

If time flies when you're having fun then time sprints Marion Jones style when you have a job contract that ends in less than 4 months and you have to decide what to do with your life. In July when I started my second contract at EV January seemed ages away. I still had to get through 2 months of unbearable heat and humidity..auditions for the fall season..rehearsals for the fall season..and plenty of shows before even thinking about turning on the heater and breaking the scarves and mittens back out let alone thinking about what comes after January. Two days ago I wore socks to bed..and last night I turned on the heater. Shit.

Luckily I'm not in this alone, a fact that I am so grateful for. My boyfriend and our cat are also factored into the decision and whether I decide to stay or go it's really nice to know that I won't have to do either alone. So, while we figure this all out, I'll just keep you up to date on what's been happening in my life, still here at EV.

Today I castrated my cat. I know, it sounds horrible. I much prefer the word, "neuter" to "castrate" however when we went to make the appointment for Billie Jean two weeks ago the vet didn't understand what "neuter" meant...so "castrate" it became. I am pleased to say he is alive and well...when I picked him up he was eager to get into the backpack we use as our "cat bjorn" though less than thrilled to leave his balls behind. Anand wasn't pro castration but it needed to be done. He is getting to the age where he would start peeing on things, plus he can get really aggressive, plus his balls were getting bigger and hairier by the day and I just can't handle that. Anyway, the deed has been done. Sorry about that BJ.

While I was waiting for Billie Jean to have his...procedure..I went to the eye doctor for my final post-op Lasik exam. For those of you who don't know I had Lasik done about 6 weeks ago. It is amazing and totally worth the 15 minutes of terror it took to get through the operation. I haven't been able to see without glasses since I was in 3rd grade. It still catches me by surprise. I am also still surprised by the service of the health care industry here. I didn't have an appointment but got right in (I mean I know I'm a big deal but I've been assured that even less famous..normal..people get in quickly too). It was included in the price of the surgery...$700.00..and I was out and on my way in about 15 min...on my way to the dentist where I also got right in no appointment necessary. I mean come on.

Work wise the park is finally starting to pick back up. The group of moms and their kids who come to our shows every single day and who we lovingly have labeled, "the stalkers"..have returned in full force. My friend Evan was at EV Mart the other day when a stalker mom we hadn't seen in awhile approached him. She told him that they hadn't been to the park in 2 months because of "H1N1" and apologized that she had only seen last season's shows, "5 times." Our current show is called, "The Firebird," in which I play The Firebird..complete with a 5lb tail covered in feathers. I shed constantly and the stalker kids have started rushing the stage during our curtain call to collect the feathers that might drop to the floor during our bows.

I need to interject now to say I had to put the plastic collar the vet gave me on Billie Jean because he started licking his stitches. He is now running around the kitchen beating his head into the walls in an attempt to get it off.

In other news...we started an Outreach Program within our department. I designed and built a puppet show of, "Where the Wild Things Are" and there are other songs, dances, and even a craft or two. We had the official outreach 'pilot' last week at a kindergarten in Geumchon about 15 min away. It went really well and I think the kids really enjoyed it. The best part was that the kids all wore Halloween costumes for the event. And after seeing them I'm pretty sure South Korean stores only sell 5 different costumes: Kungfu Panda, Witch, purple velveteen suit akin to Phantom of the Opera, a pumpkin outfit with orange sequined crop top and green sequined bottom (worn by more boys than girls), and my personal favorite..2 little boys in zebra striped bell bottoms and silver sequined capes..I'm not sure what they were, but they were fabulous. Hopefully the outreach program will become a hit and I can continue my research into the world of the fabulous and flamboyant Halloween costumes of South Korea.

So there's the update. I am going to try to blog every week from now on. We'll see if I can do it. There's not always a lot to report but don't worry I'll just make stuff up.

A Post-Swine Flu Fall

2009-09-16T05:53:00.000-07:00

About a month ago on a normal Tuesday afternoon I was prepping for a gameshow with my friend and co-worker Candy. We had just taken the tarp off of the game boards and were checking the mics when we noticed the park guides, Korean women who work in City Hall, stopping visitors in the streets, telling them something, and then gesturing towards the exit gate. We didn't think much of it until the visitors started moving faster,hurriedly pulling small children by the hand, one man even picked up his two children and started sprinting towards the exit like a featured extra in an M. Night Shalaman movie. Clearly something was wrong. Candy ran over to one of the guides and came back with the official report: Swine Flu had come to English Village.

We learned that 14 teachers from the drama training program we ran in July had become sick after leaving EV, and 6 were confirmed to have swine flu. The park immediately closed to visitors and all employees were put in voluntary but highly recommended "self isolation" for 10 days with twice daily temperature checks from the board of health. Of course no one cared that having a temperature is not necessarily indicative of having the swine, in fact the one EV teacher that did get infected never ran a temp at all, and several teachers that had all the other symptoms were not tested because they were a perfect 98.6. In their infinite wisdom our administration did not require all employees to get tested, just one of the many great decisions made over those 10 days.

Now, nearly a month later EV has reopened, and is waiting for the public to trickle back in. And I mean trickle. It's very surreal to live in an empty theme park. Our first day open I was assigned "Welcome" Duty, basically to hand out balloons and greet guests as they entered the park and got their temperature taken (something now being done to every EV guest..makes sense I know). The morning's total for balloons handed out was 12. Shows started to get cancelled, classes closed, and finally EV offered up to 15 days of unpaid leave to anyone who wanted it, just to give its employees something to do.

I will say that as our new season opens the crowds are beginning to come back in. No thanks to the South Korean government who advised its people to stay away from "camps, parks, and other public places" for the rest of the year. Funny that EV is a government run institution. I'm quite used to doing a show where there are more people on stage than in the audience...and we only have 4 actors per show..but that usually happens in late December or January when the weather is really and truly awful. The lack of misspelled t-shirts, visors, and Mickey Mouse backpacks is palpable and I haven't heard of a butthole poking attack in weeks. On a more serious note due to budget constraints we are only having 1 mainstage show this winter...1 show..with 4 casts. I just hope this isn't the start of a down hill slide into unemployment.

Up and Down the River

2009-07-08T02:28:00.001-07:00

When I was home for Brendan's high school graduation I was asked by a former teacher of mine to write an article for the Big Rapids Pioneer on my experience in Korea. Check it out:

I arrived in Seoul, South Korea on July 1, 2008 to the sound of honking taxis, the smell of tempura fried street food, and the sight of a mother holding a plastic water bottle up to her young son so he could pee. I was shocked, but looking back on it now I realize this was only the tip of the iceberg of surprises that the Land of the Morning Calm had in store for me.

I moved to South Korea to be an actor, and before you say, “That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard, I’ve got to call my wife,” (which, incidentally is what the police officer at the Reed City State Police office said when I went there to get fingerprinted for my visa) let me explain. I work for Gyeonggi English Village, an English speaking theme park opened by the South Korean government in 2006 as an alternative way to teach the English language to its people. English Village, or EV, runs three different programs: a one day program for daily park guests, a one week program focused on school aged kids and adults, and the edutainers. Both the one day and one week programs teach English through fun, conversational classes: cooking, visiting a mock bank, police station, and health clinic, t-shirt making etc… The edutainers are the park’s entertainment department, and it is here that I act, sing, and dance my way through ESL (English second language) based children’s musicals 10 times a week.

It’s not Broadway, but it is an incredible environment where a performer can stretch their skills to all areas of performance and production. All of our shows are completely original. All the scripts are written in our office, all the music is composed and produced in our studio, all of the choreography is created on our stage, and all of the directors come from our department. Working here has allowed me to act, direct, write, and choreograph for shows that run a full 3 month season in our 600 seat concert hall. Creatively, it’s a dream come true. I don’t know of any other environment where such freedom and responsibility are given to a young professional.

Life as a foreigner or “waygook” in South Korea is kind of like being an animal at the zoo: a rare, exciting, endangered animal. People stop me on the streets to take pictures, and kids swarm me in the park asking for autographs. I was once approached on a subway by an elderly Korean gentlemen who sang me the United States’ National Anthem, gave me a piece of fruit, and then kindly asked me to consider marrying his son. It’s a little surreal, but that’s what makes South Korea so great.

English Village is so westernized that if you never stepped out of the park gates you’d never know you were in South Korea, and so I have made it a point to break away from village life and spend some time in the outside world. Seoul is a city of over 10 million people, one of the largest in the world, and thanks to a fantastic metro and bus system it is incredibly easy and cheap to get around in. Shopping is inexpensive, plentiful, and often times very entertaining. South Korea gained its independence in 1948 and in the 61 years since it has grown from a third world nation to one of the leading technological countries on the planet. With so much growth happening so quickly the country lacks its own identity and has taken bits and pieces from many different western cultures as its own. This hodgepodge of anything and everything western is clearly reflected in the style of the South Korean people. T-shirts with English words are a huge seller. It doesn’t matter what they say, it doesn’t matter if they make sense, and it definitely doesn’t matter if they’re appropriate as long as they’re in English. Kids flock to the EV in brightly colored t-shirts displaying all sorts of four letter words. Equally popular is anything and everything Mickey Mouse, oversized visors, and rhinestone jewelry. And I thought the fashions at the Mecosta County Fair were exciting.

Seoul offers much more than shopping. You can see a movie in English at any of a dozen IMAX screens throughout the city. Just be prepared for Korean subtitles and the smell of dried squid, the South Korean movie snack of choice. On every street there are countless food options from Korean bbq (be prepared to sit on the floor) to street food (be prepared to not know what you’re eating) to western restaurants. McDonalds is there with all the regular items plus a shrimp burger value meal, and all the pizzas at Pizza Hut come with corn on them and a side of sweet pickles.

South Korea is a mountainous country, one afternoon I climbed a peak in the middle of Seoul hoping to get some exercise and find a great view. What I found was a community of elderly South Korean shamans living in tents at the top of the mountain. It was almost as if I had been transported back in time, almost. Women were chanting, drums were beating, incense was burning, and off to the side was a wrinkled Korean man dressed in robes and talking animatedly on his cell phone. I couldn’t help but smile at the site as I huffed and puffed to the top of the peak, and I couldn’t help but wonder how these 80 year olds were living up there, or more importantly how they climbed up in the first place. Maybe they’re staying because they can’t get down.

In my year of adventuring around the country I have done many things I never thought I’d do, and seen sights I never knew existed. Some highlights include: The Boryeong Mud Festival, a week long beach party where the city dredges up spa mud from the ocean bottom and party goers slather themselves in it from head to toe before going down a mud slide, wrestling in a mud ring, and climbing a mud wall. If you’re ever in South Korea in the summer I highly recommend going and afterwards hitting the local jimjilbong, or public spa, to clean up. Just be ready to get naked with 100 of your closest new Korean friends. Don’t worry jimjilbongs are same sex only, and once you get used to letting it all hang out it’s incredibly freeing to do so.

From the eastern side of the country rise the jagged peaks of Seoraksan National Park. The views are breathtaking, the beaches are beautiful, and only a 2 hours bus ride away is Haeshingdang Park, known to the locals as Penis Park. Yes, this small coastal park is dedicated entirely to the male genitalia. Legend has it that the small fishing village where the park is located was having trouble reeling in a catch, until a man revealed himself to the ocean and caused the fish to return. Since that day the locals erected (pun intended) statues, totem poles, and even a giant gold cannon all shaped like the penis. South Korean families visit in droves, all eager to sit on the penis benches and pose with the penis warriors. I feel I can safely say, only in South Korea.

I never thought I’d come to South Korea, the country was little more than a blip in a high school history book for me and seemed to be a world away. But after living here for nearly a year, and recently signing on for 7 more months, I can honestly say that it isn’t so far away after all. The terrain is beautiful, the cities are modern, and the people are incredibly kind. I may be on the other side of the world, but it’s starting to feel more and more like home.

Jessica Doyle is the daughter of FSU professors Terry and Julie Doyle. She grew up in Big Rapids and graduated from BRHS in 2002. She earned her BFA in Musical Theatre Performance from Central Michigan University in 2006 and did her graduate work at the University of Hawai’i at Manoa in Theatre for Youth. Jessica has performed and directed in theatres across the country. She currently resides in Paju, South Koea. Check out her blog “Feeling Seoul-ful” at: http://feelingseoul-ful.blogspot.com/

Butt holes.

2009-05-08T19:59:00.000-07:00

Butt holes are huge in Korea. I am not referring to actual sphincter size, I have no idea how the anal sphincters of the South Korean population compare in size to that of the rest of the world nor do I care to know, but I do know that I have never known a people to be so literally up each other's asses. Butt hole poking..pronounced Dddong Chim...is a game held near and dear to the hearts of the South Korean people. The name basically means, "butthole poking with index fingers," ..I'm serious..and that's exactly what it is. The same pose used by American children when playing cops and robbers..or college aged girls posing sexily as Charlie's Angels is used in South Korea for one thing and one thing only, to poke another person in the butt hole. From a young age South Koreans clasp their hands together with the index fingers sticking out, eye the surrounding crowds, and eagerly anticipate the chance to poke the unsuspecting butthole.

I had heard of this butthole phenomenon from many of the male teachers at English Village who had fallen victim to it. Spending day after day around Korean kids it is only a matter of time before one of them decides to pounce. Lucky for me, I was also assured that it was the male teachers who got poked, usually by the also male students (go figure). Infact I successfully managed to avoid anyone's index fingers going anywhere near my butthole, that was until last Tuesday.

Last Tuesday was Children's Day in Korea and English Village went all out. Flowers were planted, banners were hung, and special programs and shows were prepared all to welcome the hordes of children that came through our gates ready for a day of English filled fun. What we didn't realize is that peering out from under each flourescent visor and disguised by each Mickey Mouse t-shirt was a potential butthole poke just waiting to happen.

It started out like any other day: rehearsal, a show, lunch, and little street talk with the guests. I was finishing my puppet show and decided that with my free 10 minutes between activities I'd join my friend Modie who was leading a sing-a-long. It all looked innocent enough. She was entertaining a group of about 10 little girls, holding hands and walking in a circle while singing about each animal that lived on Old MacDonald's Farm. I couldn't help but join in the fun. Grabbing two sweatly little hands I started walking round and round, quaking here and mooing there, really getting into it. That's when it happened. From the corner of my mind I saw a small boy break out from the crowd of passerby's walking down mainstreet. At first I didn't think anything of it, maybe he wanted to come join our circle, maybe he forgot something in the class he just had, maybe his little sister was singing along with us and it was time for her to go. Alas, that was not the case. Before I had time to react he was behind me, hands clasped together, index fingers poised at the ready, and then he poked me: right. in. the. butthole. It all happened so fast, I felt the poke and whirled around breaking the sing-a-long circle and completely forgetting about Old MacDonald's baa-ing sheep. All I saw was a the short dark hair of a Korean boy running back into the crowd, laughing. And then he was gone, swallowed up by the mass of people, like a young antelope protected by the herd.

I'm not sure how but I finished the day. After all this is my job, and I had to be professional. But let my experience serve as a warning to you. If you come to South Korea and decide to take part in an Old MacDonald sing-a-long, be sure you have someone there to watch your butt.hole.

Seoul's Shamanistic Mountain People

2009-03-30T04:09:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning and decided to take charge of my Monday..the first day of my weekend. Not that I normally don't come at Monday with a take charge attitude, it's just usually more focused on sleeping in and eating, more "get-up-and-brunch" then "get-up-and-go." Today, however, was different and not just because my brunch-making boyfriend is out of town (ok maybe a little because of that) but because the sun was shining, it was (relatively) warm outside, and I desperately needed to combat the extra .2 kilograms that showed up on the scale this morning and are most definitely not welcome.

As I ate my morning fruit salad (and tried to ignore the images of syrup drenched blueberry pancakes not just dancing but shimmying seductively in my head) I contemplated what to do with my day. Highlight my hair? See a movie? Art galleries? Shopping? And finally decided to consult my Lonely Planet Korea. Hair highlighting, while fun, entertaining, and totally necessary for spring isn't really in my pre-vacation budget right now...most of the movies are in Korean...since it's Monday most of the galleries are closed..and really how many pair of leggings and 10 dollar t-shirts with misspelled words and pictures of mickey mouse does one woman need? So I decided to take one of the preplanned "walking tours." There were two tours outlined in the book: one that began in shopping heaven and ended in street food paradise, and the other that promised an hour and a half of up hill climbing to Seoul's most famous shamanist shrine without going anywhere near the carts selling my favorite honey and nut stuffed pancakes dripping with grease and conveniently placed in a dixie cup for your hand held ease and enjoyment. Thus I set off for the, "Inwangsan Shamanist Hillside Walk."

A bus and a subway ride later I exited Dongnimmun station, took the first left as the book instructed, and started the long up hill climb to the shrine's gate. I have to say I was excited as I huffed and puffed along, it's not often that I go anywhere by myself and I was looking forward to finding a quiet stretch of rock and just being alone and at peace. At the top of a very steep driveway I finally reached the gate, took a guide book instructed left towards the temple, and tried to avoid the stares of confusion from a disheveled pack of elderly koreans who were loitering in the parking lot. The temple had (in my professional oppinion) seen it's better days. Still I took a look around and was careful to take Lonely Planet's advice and not take any pictures or make any unnecessary noise to disturb the peace. I was fully prepared to silently take it all in when I heard..and I am not exaggerating here...screaming coming from behind the temple. I walked around to see a man screaming at the top of his lungs at an older woman as they were preparing food offerings for the alter. He screamed..she screamed..he threw a bag of rice...it got louder..and louder...and louder. Clearly they had not read Lonely Planet Korea. Getting to the stairs I needed to continue up the mountain involved crossing infront of them and I hesitated just out of sight debating whether seeing the shamanistic mountain people was worth being yelled at and possibly having a bag of rice thrown at me. Finally I made up my mind and decided I would not let a couple of rice throwing Korean yellers stop me from experiencing Seoul's most famous shamanist shrine. As I walked past they stopped yelling, the woman smiled at me and the man shot me a look of pure disdain. All in all, a great start.

I continued onward and upward and came to the next stop on the guidebook tour, some rocks that had been eroded into almost human like forms, and were now considered religiously significant. I'm not sure how the wear and tear on some rocks makes them holy or who decided their new shapes look anything like people, and apparently I was alone in those thoughts as the other 10 or so people around me were kneeling in prayer.

Past the rocks I continued up even more stairs preparing for the final push to the shamanist shrine which my guidebook described as having an "X-files like feeling," referring to air thick with drum beats and the echoes of words chanted over and over for hundreds of years. The trees were a little thicker over head here and I'll admit I started to get a little anxious as I climbed ever higher, my ears straining to catch the first vibrations of ancient rhythms. Finally I heard something. Excited I started climbing faster and faster, eager to let the everyday world of subways and street vendors (and those extra .2 kilos) fall away from me. The music started getting louder, and louder, and louder, until I turned a corner and saw......a radio playing from the Snack Shack half way up the mountain. Yes, not only can you take a hike to Seoul's most famous shamanist shrine to get away from it all, but you can take a bottle of water and a Snickers bar with you while you do it.

Not to be discouraged I by passed the Snack Shack and finished the climb up to where the mountain leveled off. And here I found them, the shamanist mountain people. A whole community of elderly Koreans living in tents on the top of this mountain surrounded by city streets. I have no idea why they were living up there, or more importantly how they got up there in the first place. I had only been climbing for half an hour (and consider myself to be in pretty good shape) and my thighs were BURNING. The only reason I could come up with was that they had to stay because they couldn't get back down.

Here were the drum beats: elderly Korean woman kneeling in front of drums on rock faces high above where any of the trails reached. Here was the chanting: groups of people kneeling before rock walls and burning incense and bowls of rice offering their prayers up to the heavens. Here was a man dressed in robes and open toed leather sandals talking on his cell phone. I guess I was still in Seoul after all.

As I started back down the mountain I couldn't help but wonder what it was that brought all of those people up there. It must take a pretty strong belief in something to get those 70+ year old bones up those 70 million + steps (ok maybe a slight exaggeration here). And I can almost guarantee they weren't doing it for the weight loss benefits. The cynical side of me says what a waste of time, they should be in the highlight of their twighlight, finally getting to use the reserved seating on the subway and pushing unsuspecting foriegners out of the way on the sidewalk without a backward glance, not kneeling on the hard ground waving smoke at some rocks. And the other side of me, that side wants to believe that they are trying to connect with something greater, something so important that it drew them up this mountain, on a chilly day in March, to kneel on that ground and breathe in that incense and say those words. I really hope whoever they're talking to is listening.

Coral & Tiller

2009-02-12T23:35:00.000-08:00

To begin I'd just like to apologize for my lack of blog in the last......2 months. If you think I haven't been writing because my life has been void of adventures and blog-worthy anecdotes then you would be wrong. I just haven't had the time to sit down and document them. I have had the time to google and then analyze 27 different shades of brown in order to select my upcoming hair color...order 5 pairs of lace edged cheeky boy short under wear from Victoria's Secret online (and on clearance thank you very much)..and help my dear friend Modie select the perfect breed of dog to suit her space and her life style, if she ever decides to actually get a dog. But time to blog I have not found, and since I'm currently writing this during my work day and from an office computer I will simply cut to the chase.

I wrote a script. It's called "Coral & Tiller" and is an under the sea adventure starring a young mermaid, named Coral, and her swordfish friend Tiller. (Catchy title eh?) And since it is such a masterpiece of children's ESL (English Second Language) musical theatre I thought you might want to read it. So here goes:

*Keep in mind that this was written as children's ESL musical theatre not as "normal people" theatre. We have to include audience participation and the teaching of at least 3 ESL words.*

The lights come up to reveal a cave made out of what appears to be brightly colored coral and covered with plants, like a coral reef. The stage is dimly lit with a blue cast to it and gobo's giving the illusion that we are under water. Strewn about outside the cave are gadgets and gizmos that have drifted to the ocean bottom from passing ships and have been collected by Grogger, the crab. We hear clanks, wizzes, pops and other "inventing" noises coming from inside the cave.

Grogger: (exits the cave and addresses the audience): This is it! My greatest creation, the super sea snake, is almost complete!

Grogger scuttles about outside the cave and looks around excitedly for the missing piece to his invention. Like a crab he moves sideways using short, quick steps and has large pinchers for hands. Suddenly he spots the missing piece, crosses to it, picks it up, and laughing crazily scuttles back inside the cave.

Grogger: And now I’ll add the final piece to bring my creation to life! (Grogger pauses to admire his work) It's finished! It's beautiful! It's perfect!
Grogger's excitement is cut short by a ferocious growl and the sound of a heavy metal object crashing about. Bursts of bright lights explode out of the cave.

Grogger: Oh no! Something’s wrong! It’s a sea monster!! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Grogger runs out of the cave with the sea monster right on his heels. The sea monster is in the shape of a Chinese dragon but appears to be made of metal parts that Grogger has collected and put together. The sea monster will be a full body puppet made to be larger than life and operated by Actor 3. The puppet which I can build would be based on the actor’s shoulders with rods extending upwards and supporting its head. The body and tail of the sea monster would be like that of a Chinese dragon, a simple cloth body that extends from the head and down the actor’s back. The sea monster’s arms extend from its body and can be put on like sleeves .The sea monster corners Grogger who tries to defend himself by pinching at it with his claws. This doesn't work, of course, as the sea monster is made of metal.

Grogger: (realizing that the sea monster is going to attack him) Ahhhhhh!!!!! Please! Don't hurt me!! Help!! Help! Oh noooooo! Just as the sea monster is about to attack Grogger he screams at the top of his lungs Ahhhhhh!!!! Scared of the loud noise the sea monster backs off. When Grogger is silent again the sea monster approaches. Grogger yells Ahhhh!!!! and the sea monster backs off. This goes on a few more times until Grogger gets the idea to yell as loud as he can and clap his hands making as much noise as possible and when the sea monster backs off Grogger seizes the opportunity to escape, breaks free and scuttles down the center stage stairs hiding just below the apron. Confused, the sea monster searches the cave and the rest of the stage for Grogger.

Grogger: For the first time Grogger notices the audience. Will you help me? (audience responds Yes) Can you see the sea monster? (audience responds yes) Where is it? (audience points to stage) The sea monster has now moved towards the front of the stage and is sniffing around, pawing the ground, and clearly looking to attack Grogger. If I don’t do something soon the sea monster will hurt me! Maybe if we all yell and clap our hands really loudly the sea monster will be frightened and leave me alone! Everyone yell! (Grogger demonstates “Ahhhhhhh!!!” and encourages the audience to do the same) Oh yes! That's very good! Now clap your hands! (Grogger demonstates by clapping his pinchers together) The sea monster is now at the front of the stage and is starting to come towards Grogger. Here comes the sea monster! Yell and clap as loud as you can! The sea monster has crossed down the stairs stage right and is searching the area in front of the stage for Grogger when he hears the audience yelling and clapping. Terrified and confused the sea monster takes off running right past Grogger, down the center stairs and out the house left door.

Grogger: It worked! I'm saved! The sea monster ran right past me and... (Grogger pauses realizing where the sea monster is headed) Oh no! The sea monster is headed for Reefland!
Black out. When the lights come up we are now in Reefland, a city of sea creatures made to look like a coral reef. There is a sign saying, "Welcome to Reefland.” The whole city has a very cartoon-ish feel to it, like the royal kingdom in the Shrek movies. Coral the mermaid and her best friend Tiller the swordfish are stage right practicing Tiller’s sword fighting moves. Tiller uses his snout as his sword and fights by swinging his head back and forth. Coral fights using a long sword shaped piece of coral. Coral is easily the superior fighter and keeps pinning Tiller to the ground.

Coral: (fencing with Tiller) 1, 2, 3 (Coral easily pins Tiller to the ground) I win again!

Tiller: (very unenthusiastically) Wow Coral. Good for you. You pinned me again.

Coral: Tiller! You’re not even trying! If you want to be a warrior you have to learn to sword fight. Now get up and try again.
Coral helps Tiller up and they take the fencing stance.

Coral: (again advancing towards Tiller and swinging her sword) 1, 2, 3 Tiller stops and walks away before she can pin him again. Exasperated. Tiller!

Tiller: (mimicking her tone) Coral! I hate sword fighting.

Coral: But you’re a sword fish!

Tiller: So.

Coral: So…swordfish are warriors. If you don’t practice sword fighting you’ll never be a warrior.

Tiller: I don’t want to be a warrior.

Coral: (stops dead in her tracks, her jaw drops) You don’t want to be a warrior?

Tiller: Nope.

Coral: But being a warrior is the greatest job there is! A warrior carries a sword and a shield.
Coral holds up the pieces of coral that she has been using as a sword and shield.

Coral: A warrior goes on adventures! A warrior fights sea monsters!

SONG – about how great it is to be a warrior. During the song Coral attacks Tiller with the “sword” as if he were a sea monster, swinging the sword through the air in a choreographed fight sequence, she ends it by pinning Tiller to the ground again.

Tiller: (on the ground and at the end of Coral’s sword) Coral, I don’t want to be a warrior. I don’t want to carry a sword and shield! I don’t want to go on adventures! I don’t want to fight sea monsters! Besides, have you ever heard of a sea monster trying to attack Reefland?

Coral: (defeated) No.

Tiller: Exactly.
During this exchange Sir Ballast, an octopus who is the King’s herald, has entered and crossed center stage. He holds a long scroll and when he gets to center stage he unrolls it and reads. It should be timed so as soon as Tiller says, “Exactly,” Sir Ballast says his line.

Sir Ballast: (addressing the audience as if they are the townspeople) A sea monster wants to attack Reefland.

Coral: (excitedly) What?

Tiller: (in disbelief) What?

Sir Ballast: (very snooty and upset at having to repeat himself) I said (dramatic pause) a sea monster wants to attack Reefland.

Coral: (crossing to Sir Ballast making sure she heard him correctly) A sea monster?

Tiller: (following Coral, completely terrified) A sea monster?
Sir Ballast: (Beginning to lose control) Yes a sea monster! He flips the scroll around to reveal a large picture of the sea monster heading towards Reefland ready to attack. (His anger is building) A sea monster! (As if steam is going to come out of his ears) A sea monster!!!! On the final “sea monster” he very deliberately points at the picture of the sea monster. The same picture appears on the power point.

Coral: (thrilled) Wow!

Tiller: (terrified) Wow….

Sir Ballast: (in complete annoyance with Coral and Tiller) Wow.

Coral: Excuse me, Sir Ballast, but did you see the sea monster?

Sir Ballast: What?

Tiller: Did you see the sea monster with your eyes?

Sir Ballast: Well, no but…

Tiller: (cutting him off) Then maybe it’s not real!

Sir Ballast: (puffing his chest up) Are you calling me a liar?

Tiller: (stammering) Well..no..but…
Sir Ballast and Tiller get into an argument. More physical than verbal it really involves Sir Ballast pushing Tiller around upstage stage while they talk. This all moves very quickly.
During the argument Coral has crossed downstage, lost in her own thoughts about the sea monster she completely ignores Sir Ballast and Tiller fighting.

Coral: A sea monster! How exciting! My whole life I’ve wanted to fight a sea monster! It has to be real! Sir Ballast didn’t see the sea monster but someone must have. (speaking to the audience) Did you see the sea monster? (audience responds Yes, Coral is overjoyed) You did? That’s great! A sea monster, wow, a real sea monster!
By this time Sir Ballast and Tiller have made their way downstage. Sir Ballast is sitting on Tiller pinning him to the ground.

Tiller: Owww, you’re crushing me!

Coral: (seeing what is going on) Stop!! (pulling Sir Ballast off of Tiller) There really is a sea monster! They saw it! It’s real!

Sir Ballast: (standing and regaining composure) Well of course it’s real.

Tiller: Who will fight the sea monster?

Sir Ballast: Well, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted. (He unrolls the scroll and begins to read again) Citizens of Reefland! A sea monster wants to attack our reef. All of our bravest warriors are gone, searching for buried treasure. There is no one left here to fight the sea monster. We are doomed.

Tiller: Doomed?!?!?

Sir Ballast: Yes, doomed. Done, over, finished, ended, kaput, zonked…

Tiller: (cutting him off) Doomed!!!

Tiller runs behind Coral and hides.

Coral: Tiller!

Tiller: I’m scared!!

Coral: Tiller!

Tiller: I want to live!! I need to live!!

Tiller runs down the center stairs and hides beneath the apron.

Coral: (becoming annoyed) Tiller!

Tiller: (desperate) What are we going to do?

Coral: I’m going to fight the sea monster.

Sir Ballast: You?!?!?

Coral leaves Tiller still hiding beneath the apron and crosses upstage towards Sir Ballast.

Coral: Yes.

Sir Ballast: Hahahahha that is the craziest idea I have ever heard. Hahahahaha.

Coral: Why?

Sir Ballast: To fight a sea monster you need a sword and a shield to keep you safe. Do you have a sword and a shield?

Coral: No, but…

Sir Ballast: (cutting her off) And you need a map, you cannot find the sea monster without a map.

Tiller: A map?

Sir Ballast Yes, a map. A map tells you where you now are and where you are going, with a map you can never get lost. Do you have a map?

Coral: No.

Sir Ballast: Then you cannot fight the sea monster. I must go now. I have to tell the king that there is no one to fight the sea monster. We really are doomed.

Sir Ballast exits. Tiller crosses to the stage right side of the reef and takes out a bag from behind one of the coral coves. He starts pulling out things from the cove and packing them in the bag: a teddy bear, a giant jar of fish food, a magazine called Underwater World etc..

Coral: (seeing Tiller) What are you doing?

Tiller: (not looking up) Packing.

Coral: (crossing to him) What?

Tiller: I’m packing Coral. You heard Sir Ballast, there is no one to fight the sea monster, Reefland is doomed. We will have to move.

Coral: Reefland is our home and I am going to save it. I am going to fight the sea monster.

Tiller: But Coral, you don’t have a sword, a shield, or a map.

Coral: It doesn’t matter.

Tiller: Yes it does.

Coral: (getting very heated) No, it doesn’t!

Tiller: (yelling) Coral! You’re not a warrior!

Coral: (pausing to catch her breath) What did you say?

Tiller: You’re not a warrior. You’re a mermaid. You can’t fight the sea monster.

Coral: Yes I can! You’re just jealous because I’m braver than you are! I am going to fight the sea monster and when I save Reefland I’ll be a warrior and you, you’ll still be a scared little swordfish.

Coral walks by Tiller and picks up the piece of coral she had been sword fighting with earlier. Then she glares at Tiller and walks off stage.

Blackout. During the blackout Coral crosses to the audience right door and comes out into the audience searching for the sea monster. On stage the set is changed from Reefland back to Grogger’s cave which has now been almost completely destroyed by the sea monster. Parts of Grogger’s inventions are strewn about haphazardly outside the cave and everything is in disarray.

Coral crosses slowly towards Grogger’s cave, we can tell that she’s nervous but trying her best to hide it. Grogger is hiding inside.

Coral: (calling out) Hello? Is anyone there? Hello?
Coral reaches the entrance to the cave and carefully peeks inside.

Coral: (cupping her hands to her mouth and yelling) Hellooooooooo?
Startled Grogger springs from the cave screaming and clapping his pinchers together. He comes out with such force that he knocks Coral to the ground.

Grogger: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Coral: (on the ground) Stop, please! It’s alright!!

Grogger is hurling himself towards Coral, pinchers at the ready. Just as he is about to attack her he realizes she is not the sea monster and is in fact just a mermaid.

Grogger: (advancing towards Coral, snapping his pinchers) Who are you?

Coral: My name is Coral, I’m…

Grogger: (cutting her off) What are you doing here? It isn’t safe here, there’s a (huge stage whisper) sea monster on the loose.

Coral: I know. I am here to fight the sea monster.

Grogger: No!! You can’t!!

Coral: Yes I can.

Grogger: No! You don’t understand. This isn’t any ordinary sea monster.

Tiller: (coming forward) Then what kind of sea monster is it?

Grogger: (ashamed and trying to get the words out) It’s…it’s…(he dissolves into sobs)

Coral: (clearly uncomfortable with Grogger’s tears, patting him very softly on the back) What’s wrong?

Grogger: I (he sniffs)… I created the sea monster.

Coral: What?!?! You created the sea monster? How?

Grogger: It was an accident! It was supposed to be my greatest creation ever.

*Song about how Grogger created the Sea monster*

Grogger: Well, I finished building it and (he pauses to catch his breath) at first nothing happened and then all of a sudden it came to life and…and…tried to attack me!

Coral: Attack you?

Grogger: Yes! It chased after me growling and snapping its teeth. I started yelling and clapping my pinchers and the sea monster got scared. Then I had my friends help me, and the sea monster ran away and headed right towards Reefland. Grogger demonstrates by roaring loudly and using his arms as the sea monster’s teeth to snap at Coral. Now it wants to attack Reefland and it’s all my fault! He launches into a fresh round of sobs.

Coral: Will the sea monster come back here?

Grogger: Yes, it wants to attack me. We will have to make noise so it will run away again.

Coral: I don’t want the sea monster to run away.

Grogger: You don’t?

Coral: No. I want to fight the sea monster and stop it right here.

Grogger: How are you going to fight the sea monster?

Coral: I need a sword to fight with and a shield to protect myself. Do you have anything like that?

Grogger: Hmmm (Grogger scuttles around looking through the old parts and bits of trash outside of his cave) I don’t think so Coral.

Coral: (crossing down and talking to the audience) There has to be something here I can use. (she wanders around the stage picking up various objects: a wheel, a watering can, really any mismatched part and holds them up to the audience asking) Is this a sword? (audience responds No, finally she comes across an old sword hidden behind some sea weed) What about this? (she holds it up, audience responds Yes) Great! I can use this as a sword to fight! Now I just need a shield.

Grogger and Coral continue searching for a shield. As they are looking the sea monster enters from the house left doors and crosses towards the stage. Grogger hears the sea monster coming and looks up just as it is reaching the center stage stairs.

Grogger: Look out Coral! The sea monster is coming!!

Coral looks up as the sea monster climbs the stairs and comes crashing towards her. The sea monster has a long tail that he swings about knocking things over and huge teeth that he snaps at Coral and Grogger. The sea monster focuses on Grogger backing him into a corner and roaring at him.

Grogger: Coral! Helppppp!!!!!!

Coral: Don’t worry Grogger, I will save you!

Coral takes the sword she found and swings it around over her head.

Coral: Hey!! Over here!!!

The sea monster turns and sees Coral.

Coral: I’m not afraid of you!!

The sea monster turns away from Grogger and comes crashing after Coral. Coral swings her sword at the sea monster but it bounces off the monster’s metal skin without doing any harm. Coral and the sea monster cross back and forth across the stage in a fight sequence as Coral tries again and again to stab the sea monster but isn’t able to.

Coral: Something’s wrong! My sword’s not working!

Grogger: Of course! I made the sea monster out of metal!

Coral: (still fighting the sea monster) What?

Grogger: You can’t stab it, it’s made of metal!

Just as Grogger issues this final warning Coral swings the sword over her head and makes a huge charge at the sea monster. She stabs at the sea monster with all her might and the blade of her sword bends.

Coral: My sword! It’s broken!!

Grogger: Run Coral, hide!!!

Grogger and Coral run quickly inside the cave and hide just within the opening. The sea monster tries to get in but is too big and cannot fit through the opening. As the sea monster tries to get in a rock gets pushed in front of the cave’s opening trapping Coral and Grogger inside.

Coral: We’re trapped!

Grogger and Coral: (screaming) Help!!! Help!!!!! Heeeellllppppp!!!!!!!!!

Blackout. When the lights come up we are back in Reefland. Tiller is seated on the center stage stairs visibly upset.

Tiller: “Scared little swordfish,” Coral’s right. I am scared. I’m scared of the dark. And of water
spiders. And of sharks. I’m scared of everything!

Song: “Scared of Everything” song about all of Tiller’s fears which are geared towards the same things young kids are scared of in the real world: the dark, spiders, being alone etc….

At the end of the song Sir Ballast enters and sees Tiller sitting alone on the center stage stairs crying .

Sir Ballast: (crossing to Tiller very upset) You! What are you doing out here alone? The sea monster could attack any minute…

He stops short when he sees that Tiller has been crying.

Sir Ballast: (clearly uncomfortable with emotion) Ahem. (he pauses to collect himself) Are you alright?

Tiller shrugs his shoulders.

Sir Ballast: (trying to muster up some compassion but clearly struggling) Where is your mermaid friend?

Tiller: She went to fight the sea monster.

Sir Ballast: She did what?!?!?

Tiller: She went to fight the sea monster (gulp) alone.

Sir Ballast: But how is she going to fight the sea monster? She doesn’t have a sword, a shield, or a map!

Tiller: I don’t know.

Sir Ballast: (pacing back and forth debating the correct move) Going after the sea monster alone! How could she? She’ll be attacked!

Tiller: (horrified) Attacked?!? Oh no! Coral! I have to go help her! I need a shield!

Sir Ballast: Absolutely not! I will not allow it! I…

Tiller: (cutting him off, yelling very loudly) I HAVE TO HELP HER!!!!

Sir Ballast is stunned into silence by Tiller’s outburst.

Tiller: Sir Ballast, please, I need a shield.

Sir Ballast: What about a sword?

Tiller: I already have one! (Tiller points to his snout)

Sir Ballast: (very torn) Oh….oh alright. But it’s not my fault if the sea monster attacks you both.

Tiller hugs the extremely uncomfortable Sir Ballast very tightly.

Tiller: Thank you!

Sir Ballast: Hold on a second. Sir Ballast goes off stage and returns with a shield. Here is a shield, it will protect you and a map so you will never get lost.

He hands the shield and the map to Tiller.

Tiller: Thank you, Sir Ballast.

Sir Ballast: Yes, well.. (regaining his pompous attitude) Hurry up! We don’t have all day! Go!

Blackout. The scene changes for a final time back to Grogger’s cave. Coral and Grogger are still trapped inside the cave. Tiller enters from audience left and starts pacing back and forth in front of the audience. He has his shield on his back.

Tiller: Oh no. I think I’m lost. I’ll never be able to find Coral if I don’t know where I’m going. I need your help. I have my sword to fight the sea monster with and I have my shield to protect myself, but what do I need to see where I’m going? (audience responds Map) Oh yea! Sir Ballast’s map! Tiller pulls out the map, unrolls it, and studies it. Now I see where I’m going! I’m coming Coral!

Tiller runs up the stage left stairs calling for Coral.

Tiller: (yelling) Coral! Coral!!

Coral: (from inside the cave) Tiller? Is that you?

Tiller: (still calling to her) Coral?

Coral: Tiller! We’re in here! Help!!!!

Tiller rushes over to the cave entrance dropping his shield and the map.

Tiller: Coral! Are you alright?

Coral: I’m ok. The sea monster attacked us and now we’re trapped.

Tiller: Hold on Coral. I’ll get you out.

Coral: Hurry Tiller! The sea monster could come back any minute!

Tiller grabs hold of the rock that is blocking the doorway and braces himself to pull it away from the door.

Tiller: Ok, I’m ready. Now on the count of three push against the rock as hard as you can. Ready? 1, 2, 3!!

Tiller pulls on the rock with all his might while Grogger and Coral push from inside. The rock moves and the entrance to the cave is opened. Grogger safely makes it out of the cave but before Coral can get completely out the rock shifts again and Coral’s tail gets stuck. We hear a roar and the sound of metal crashing offstage.

Coral: I’m stuck!!

Grogger: Oh no! It’s back!! The sea monster!!!!

Tiller grabs his shield and slashes his snout through the air like a sword.

Tiller: I’m ready to fight!

Coral: Tiller the sea monster is made of metal, you can’t fight it with a sword.

Tiller: Then what do I do?

Grogger: The sea monster is scared of loud noises.

Coral: But if we make a loud noise the sea monster will run away!

Tiller: I have an idea!

Grogger: What is it?

Tiller: What if we used our friends to trap the sea monster?

Grogger: What do you mean?

Tiller crosses down to the audience and begins to pull people out of their seats instructing them to make a wall.

Tiller: Ok everyone I need your help to trap the sea monster. Stand up, you too stand up. Grogger come help me.

Grogger crosses down to the audience to help Tiller. The two choose a number of audience members to come up on stage and form a semi circle enclosing the right side of the stage. *Note: Ideally 5 or 6 people would be brought on stage but this could work just fine with even one person.*

Tiller: Ok get everyone in a line. Listen everyone, when the sea monster comes we will surround him and make as much noise as we can.

Coral: Then what?

Grogger: ( taking responsibility for creating the sea monster) Leave that to me.

We hear roaring and metal crashing as the sea monster gets closer and closer to the stage.

Tiller: Ok everyone! The sea monster is coming! On three we are going to make as much noise as we can..1…2…3!!!!

The sea monster crashes on stage and immediately Tiller and Grogger start clapping, yelling, and stomping their feet, making as much noise as possible. They instruct the on stage audience members to do the same. The sea monster is weakened by the noise but is still roaring and crashing about as if fighting it off.

Tiller: We need more noise! He addresses the audience as a whole. Everyone, make as much noise as you can! The audience yells, claps, and stomps their feet making as much noise as possible. That’s it! It’s working!
The sea monster is weakened more and more, starts to cower, and fall to the ground. Tiller instructs the on stage audience members to close in around the sea monster. As they do the sea monster stops moving altogether. Grogger comes in carrying an anchor and knocks the sea monster on the head.

Grogger: Everyone back up! Back up! Grogger uses his pincher to remove the “battery” of the sea monster, the final piece he put in at the beginning that brought the sea monster to life. He takes it out and holds it up. There, the sea monster can’t hurt us anymore.

Coral: (still stuck in the cave) We’re saved!!

*Song about the joy of living again in the peaceful sea* During the song Tiller and Grogger sing and dance the audience back to their seats and then continue to dance in the audience for the rest of the number. At the end of the song they exit through the house right doors arm and arm and discussing their great feat. Coral is left stuck on stage with the dead sea monster.

Coral: Hey guys! Guys? Hello?? The lights begin to slowly fade to black. I’m still stuck! I’m still here…with the sea monster…the dead sea monster...it’s pretty gross. Tiller? Grogger? The lights are nearly black. Um, I’m scared of the dark! Blackout. Hey! Turn the lights back on!
The lights come up and the cast comes out to bow.

THE END

F*cking Lovely

2008-12-15T04:04:00.000-08:00

I realized today that there's less than 2 weeks till Christmas. Not entirely exciting as I have to work both Christmas Eve and Day..but a landmark event none the less. We are doing a special Christmas show for the big day featuring favorite Christmas Carols and spiced up theme park choreography. I'm singing, "Jingle Bell Rock," and I have to admit it's pretty damn fun. It's choreographed so I am center stage and at the end of the number everyone is posed around me jazz hands twinkling, plus Meredith (the fabulous choreographer) even gave me a total show girl moment at the beginning before my 4 boys start dancing with me. Lucky for me I have spent the last...6 years..religiously following America's Next Top Model as well as getting plenty of face time in front of the (my own) camera and all that hard (self absorbed) work is going to finally pay off. I've been training my whole life for this...

The rather obscene title of this blog is infact an homage to a store front I saw on my way to the doctor today...a store called...you guessed it..."F*cking Lovely" (minus the * and + a vowel). The slogan was something along the lines of, "When you want to look....." written in curly black caligraphy across the baby pink store front canopy. Inside were t-shirts featuring an asortment of lacy bows and teddy bears...just one of the many reasons I love South Korea.

Another major reason for my love of this country is that the health care system is truly, "F*cking Lovely." A friend of mine had to have unexpected surgery which landed her in Severnce Hospital..the major international hospital in Seoul. The surgery lasted an hour and a half...her hospital stay lasted 3 days..and her medical bills totaled just over 1,000,000 won..which with the current exchange rate equals out to about $733.00. SEVEN HUNDRED AND THIRTY-THREE DOLLARS. Correct me if I'm wrong but you can barely get a week's supply of prescription meds without health insurance for that amount in the states. And I am not talking a 3rd world shack of a hospital. Severance is like 20 floors high..with a lobby the size of an aiport and a food court that rivals a shopping mall's..she had only 1 roommate..a private nurse...and the best OB/GYN surgeon in Seoul. Shut-it-down.

This health care miracle affected me personally today as I was feeling sick and made the trek into Seoul to go to an english speaking doctor reccommended by a friend. I arrived at 1:30 without an appointment (which we all know is code for at least a 3 hour stay in a waiting room full of hacking, gagging, sick people in the US) and was into see the doctor by 1:45. After a quick exam (in a warm, cushioned chair with soft lighting and calming music playing in the back ground) I was back at the check out desk bracing myself for the inevitable three digit bill for the two digit appointment. The exam came to 13,000 won..that's 9 dollars and 50 cents people. I also ended up having 3 seperate medications prescribed which I picked up immediately at the pharmacy across the street with a bill totaling................4,600 won also known as 3 dollars and 37 cents.

Now if that isn't, "F*cking Lovely" I don't know what is.

Penguins' Paradise

2008-12-03T16:02:00.000-08:00

My mainstage directing debut at EV, Penguins' Paradise, opened this week. The show is about penguins...go figure...in the arctic who are preparing for the parade of the penguins. During their preparations they throw away all their used "stuff" and the GIANT trash pile blocks the wind and causes the heat to rise. Fortunately...after they become zombie penguins due to the heat...they learn to Recycle, Reduce, Reuse..take down the trash..and return the temperature to normal.

This is by far the biggest undertaking of my artistic career and I'm so very very proud of it. The script..the music..the choreography..were all created here at EV. I designed the set and the rough draft of the costumes which were then created fully by our costume captain here. The set and costumes look almost exactly like what I drew and I have to say that it is an incredible feeling to see the images from my imagination life sized and on stage.

I have been married to this show for the last 3 months starting with my directing interview, auditions, rehearsals, power point, underscoring meetings, sound cues, props meetings, music meetings, set meetings, costume meetings, lighting meetings, photo shoots, tech week, dress tech, and finally the opening which was Tuesday afternoon. My joy and pride in how the show turned out was overwhelming. It'll run for 3 months here at EV and I will actually be understudying two of the roles and getting to spend almost 3 weeks in the show as well.

I videoed some of the scenes and put them on youtube so if you want to take a look here are the links..it's not the whole show...i'll try to video more and put up the remaining stuff as i have the time. Enjoy!!

http://kr.youtube.com/watch?v=-s33mG2UwXk

http://kr.youtube.com/watch?v=4QOlARBhPzk

http://kr.youtube.com/watch?v=o52NENsrMvk

http://kr.youtube.com/watch?v=AQVCDqC4pPU

http://kr.youtube.com/watch?v=UYSB3iMspes

http://kr.youtube.com/watch?v=y7ZmiKRtL38

http://kr.youtube.com/watch?v=wNRfDgmpvxU

A case of the "Tuesday's"...

2008-11-15T18:54:00.000-08:00

On a scale of 1-10 I consider my job a definite 9.5 with that last .5 points deducted only because it doesn't involve living somewhere tropical and getting paid more. It's fun, it's creative, it's rewarding, and since I spend the majority of every day in a costume and wig I can leave my room each and every morning wearing a baseball cap and sweatpants.

That said, it is still a job, and while performing musicals and directing a show about zombie penguins beats the pants off sitting at a computer all day, waitressing, and basically any other career known to man (come on people zombie penguins) there's still a bit of monotony involved, just a hint of that day-to-day grind, just a little taste of the "Monday's" (or the Tuesday's in my case). And when monotony hits, and it does hit, there is no better place to be than doing live theatre for an audience of 12 year olds that don't understand what you're saying.

Here at EV we run our shows 10 times a week for 3 months and while that's nothing compared to a tour, cruise ship, or Broadway production doing a show where the entire plot line is centered around whether two kids can rescue their football from their neighbor's yard before their mom gets home isn't exactly on par with Sondheim. It gets old. It gets boring. And when that happens the only choice you have as an actor is to find ways to make the show exciting again. Lucky for me I work with two other actors who are extremely talented, extremely energetic, and extremely devious. Add in the fact that, as I previously mentioned, our core audience are Korean speaking 12 year olds, and you can start to imagine the world of possibilities that opens up.

For example....I'm standing backstage Friday morning waiting through the last five minutes before the show starts when I see my castmate Candy pulling a blow up children's swimming pool full of plastic balls behind the scrim and towards the side of the stage where my character's house is. The pool, which was used in a former game show, then found it's way into my character's house and several of the balls rolled their way onto the stage. This is just the tip of the ice berg. I've come off stage into the house after my opening scene to find orange traffic cones, a giant plastic stump, a fully made bed with pillows, and most recently printed out pictures of animals mating, the cover of a book titled, "Giant penis's", shirtless firemen, and signs reading, "Mrs. Blankenship loves big cock," "Mrs. Blankenship only reads the Giant Penis Book," and my personal favorite, "Mrs. Blankenship loves animal love." Try being caught off guard by something like that and then having to go on stage playing an angry 80 year old woman and you'll get an idea of the type of incredible self control I possess (or try to possess).

It doesn't end there..far from it. One day Candy found this enormous broom that the cleaning ladies must use to get into the far reaching corners of the ceiling. It was seriously 4 broom sticks taped together. Thinking she was oh-so-sneaky she stole it and put it in my house completely blocking the door so that I had to maneuver my way around it to get on and off stage. Lucky for me there's this scene in the show where Candy is getting attacked by a rabid skunk (yes, a rabid skunk). She's asking me for help and my response after trying, and failing, to dislodge the skunk with my cane is, "Hold on, I'll go get something bigger to hit it with," before returning with a broom. Well on this day, that something bigger, was a lot bigger. I came out swinging that twenty foot broom and laughing so hard I almost peed my pants.

One day Candy decided to tap dance the entire show. One day I decided to drag my right leg. One day I picked up the stuffed cat that sits on the porch of my house entirely as decoration and used , "Snickers the Skunk Killer," to defend Candy from the skunk instead of a broom. One day Evan brought a bouncy ball on stage and we threw it at each other back and forth for the entire 40 minutes, it inevitably flew into the audience which prompted Candy to run off the stage and ask the kid in the front row, "Umm can I have my ball back please?"

The best part about all this is whether because they're 12 or because they have no idea what is being said the audience loves it. Kids are just kids no matter what language they speak or what country they live in. They roar when Candy makes farting noises..they go crazy when I trip and fall throwing my legs over my head so my blue shorts under my skirt show...they ask for autograph's and pictures and high fives afterwards.

Oh, the other thing you should know about Korean children is that they are blatantly honest when it comes to beauty. If they think you're beautiful they will tell you. If they think you're ugly they will tell you. If they think you're a man dressed as a woman they will say "Man or woman?" This is probably my favorite comment. Yes, it's nice to have the girls come up afterwards and say, "Oh beautiful, beautiful," but my favorite times are when between the 10 or so, "beautiful's" some fat kid with glasses and a sponge bob t-shirt comes up, stares me straight in the eyes, and says, "Man or woman?"

This is particularly great because I'm wearing a very tight spandex dress over my very large breasts and, as my voice is usually quite tired by the end of the show, I'm speaking in quite a high pitch. At first I would just answer, "Woman," and laugh it off, but now I've branched out. Somtimes I say, "Man," sometimes I say, "What do you think?" sometimes I say, "Well biologically speaking I'm female but I've felt since a young age that I was born in the wrong body. I've been taking hormones for years but I haven't had the opportunity to really go the distance and surgically become all male. Lucky for me however, plastic surgery is dirt cheap in Korea and as soon as my vacation day request form is processed Dr. Kim is going to finally give me the penis I've been missing my whole life." Kidding.

See, I'm smiling..

2008-10-19T23:30:00.000-07:00

Strolling down a side street in Seoul yesterday afternoon I was hit with a powerful sensation, one that out weighed even the stench of the nearby boiling silk worms (and if you've ever had the pleasure of smelling boiling silk worms you know exactly how strong of a sensation this must have been.) Korea feels like home. It was ridiculous really. I was standing there in the middle of this dirty, crowded street, inhaling air thick with the stench of drying seafood and rotting garbage, being jostled and pushed aside by people who all look the same but don't look like me, surrounded by hundreds of conversations none of which I could understand, and I had this big, silly grin on my face. I couldn't stop smiling.

I looked to my right and saw a vendor selling socks, hundreds of pairs of multicolored socks. Next to him a woman sold dried squid and the bloodied bodies of freshly skinned eels. Next to her an old man with a long white beard was bent low over a table painting elaborate calligraphy onto long paper scrolls. To my left was a stand selling guitars, next to it was a stand selling back scratchers, razors, and toilet paper and next to that a heavy set man was rolling out large balls of green dough into paper thin sheets and hanging them up to dry. Stepping back and looking at all this I had to admit it was the strangest collage of random shit I had ever seen thrown together. It made no sense at all. And it made perfect sense. Who wouldn't want to shop for new socks while simultaneously picking out the still swimming seafood you want for dinner? Who wouldn't want to dodge an oncoming moped only to step into a pile of rotting cabbage and then get a great deal on guitar strings? Who wouldn't want to dry heave each and every time you walk by the cart selling ice cream cones full of boiled silk worms.....ok that's a lie, I could definitley do without the silk worms. My point is, I never imagined I could feel so comfortable in a place so incredibly different than everything I've ever known.

Shameless Plug and Exciting News

2008-10-01T03:06:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to write a short entry to plug my friends' new music video. The EV Boyz are all guys I work with who started a comic rap group awhile back and have become quite the hit in the SK. (That's South Korea for those who aren't in the know). They write and perform songs based on living as a foreigner in Korea..and they're awesome. So here's the link to their newest song AE I Love U about falling in love with your language exchange partner.

http://kr.youtube.com/watch?v=6uwp5ShEEl8

Also check out their first video, "Kickin it in Geumchon" which has over 100,000 hits on youtube!

In other more exciting news I am happy to announce that one of my best friends and college partner in crime Modie Fernandez has been hired as an edutainer here at EV. Yes folks, the dynamic duo will be reunited and ready to take over the world.

That's all for now.

JD

Wild Grape Village

2008-09-29T02:42:00.000-07:00

If you know me well at all, then you know my personal philosophy on camping: God invented beds for a reason. If He had wanted us to sleep on the ground sheltered from the cold and the dark by a flimsy, fabric structure supported only by poles the width of toothbrushes we would never have made it out of the teepee. And I for one am glad that we're no longer dancing with wolves. Think of the possible repercussions: we might still be traveling on horseback..we might still be throwing spears..Kevin Costner might still have that mustache. Ick.

That being said I do like the outdoors. I love hiking. I love campfires. I love the instant comraderie that develops among a group of people when you make the conscious decision to leave civilization and trek into the wilderness past the reaches of billboards and Starbucks and cell phone signals. *It should be noted that I never personally travel out of reach of a cell phone signal or a venti non-fat-sugar-free-vanilla-latte but I've heard it's possible and I'm sure the comraderie, while mixed with intense and gripping fear, would be great.*

So when the opportunity came up to leave English Village and spend a night camping with friends at Paju's Wild Grape Village I decided to toughen up and go along. On paper it seemed like a pretty sweet deal. An hour bus ride would drop us off at the village of wild grapes where we would spend a warm indian summer evening around a campfire and then spend the next day picking wild grapes off the vine and communing with nature in what was sure to be nothing less than picturesque scenery. Plus I was assured that there was indoor plumbing.

To prepare for the event I bought new hiking boots, a winter jacket which was a wee bit on the small side, a jar of creamy peanut butter, 4 wheat rolls, 4 bottles of blue Powerade, 3 apples, and a giant plastic bottle of OB Blue beer which I convinced myself would taste just like Labatt given that they both had the word, "Blue" in their name and the label was printed in the same font. I was ready. You may have noticed both my lack of tent and my lack of sleeping bag in this equation to which I say you are absolutely correct. But when I asked my friend Evan about this problem (as he had the same one) he assured me that there were lots of people going and that we'd just, "play it by ear."

After spending an hour and some change on the bus we arrived at Wild Grape Village ready to set up camp, build a fire, and enjoy ourselves. The nice Korean woman who owned the Village directed us to the path that led behind the main house and to the camp site. Eagerly we started up the hill and into the wilderness. Seven seconds later we arrived at the camp site, a plot of mowed grass lined entirely with brick approximately 10 feet behind the main house. Backyard camping at it's best. We tried to go about setting up the tents realizing too late that we had only brought two flashlights between the nine of us, one of which was a battery free light that needed to be shaken in order to gain power. *It should be noted that this may be the worst invention ever as the shaking time required far exceeded the longevity of the light itself.*

So we stood there in the glow of a single head lamp debating how to best go about setting up the tents in our backyard paradise. Of course we didn't all have problems. While my personal tenting skills are novice at best, Kelly from Montana was basically a professional. As I stood there drinking a blue Powerade and watching my fellow campers struggle with unfolding the giant chopstick tent poles Kelly had her tent set up, her sleeping bag unrolled, and was sitting there preparing a tin foil packet of meat she had killed and skinned herself. All of this was, of course, done without any light what-so-ever and with one hand tied behind her back. Those Montanians don't mess around when it comes to camping. Kelly's best friend growing up needed a flashlight to set up her tent and they made her move to Ohio. Seriously.

Eventually, and with Kelly's guidance, it all fell into place and I even secured a spot in a tent and an extra blanket my friend Sarah had brought along. We decided it was campfire time and headed back down the path to the fire pit. Seven seconds later we arrived and arranged the pile of dry wood we had purchased into an appropriate campfire structure. A bit of gasoline and a few clicks of a cigarette lighter later and we were in business. So we sat..and ate...and drank...and proposed various, "Would You Rather" scenarios concerning sleeping with Bob Barker or taking a shot glass of frozen cold diarrhea. All the while inching closer and closer to the fire as the night air got colder, and colder, and colder.

Indian summer my ass. By the time we decided to head back up to the tents it was basically arctic outside. I decided the only thing to do was bundle up. 3 pairs of socks, 2 pairs of sweat pants, 2 long sleeved shirts, a vest, and my new winter coat with the hood up later I climbed into the tent and sandwiched myself between the two other occupants. I laid down on the egg carton that seperated my body and the brick laden ground, closed my eyes, and realized that I was never going to fall asleep.

The first immediate problem I encountered other than the stunning cold was my lack of pillow. I prefer to sleep on my side and when I rolled onto my hip I realized my jacket, a wee bit small to begin with, had now with the extra layering become a gortex coccoon from which my body could not escape, or bend. I either had to hold my head suspended in the air, or stretch my neck beyond its comfort level to reach the ground. I tried to rest my head on my arms but when one is encased in a gortex coccoon any arm movement above the elbow does not exist. I was literally laying on my side balanced on my right hip and arm with my head in the air unable to move like a giant, tightly swaddled, jointless, toy soldier.

Then the gun shots started. Then the chanting started. And then my friend Anand was sure he could hear horses gallopping through the woods behind us. Now don't be too scared for my safety. In Paju we are very close to the DMZ and there are tons of military bases around and often lots of gun fire. The chanting was also certainly military related and the galloping horses, well that I really have no idea about but I'm pretty sure we weren't in danger of being trampled by a herd of wild mustangs given there was a convenience store and a put- put course just down the road. I won't lie and say it wasn't a little scary though. I have this intense fear of hearing an army coming to attack me. It isn't based on anything real, but I have always thought that the worst feeling in the world would be to hear the gun shots and the screams coming towards you. This was a little like that. Hopefully had there been an attack the mustangs would have trampled them before they could get near us.

Well needless to say all my praying for morning paid off and the sun finally came up. We got up, drank huge amounts of coffee, and went to pick the "wild" grapes that in fact were growing inside a green house. After a few games of 500..a 5 minute hike to the man made "stream"..and a rather rousing Boggle tournament we decided to pack it in and head back to civilization with a new found appreciation for our mattresses.

I can honestly say I think I've done my camping....for the decade.

Penis Park

2008-09-18T04:30:00.000-07:00

I remember clearly the first time I was confronted with sex and the male anatomy. I was in first grade standing in line to come back in from recess when a boy in my class leaned in and whispered in my ear, "Boys got the hotdog and girls got the bun." I was terrified. I had no idea what to make of the statement but I was pretty sure it had nothing to do with picnic food.

Four days ago I stood on the cliffs over looking a small Korean fishing village and watched while a father helped his family mount a giant stone penis and then pose for photos. First it was just the kids..then mom joined in...grandma...crazy Aunt Sue..and finally a shot of the entire family sitting toboggan style on the giant stone penis. I stood there open mouthed as he instructed them to lean a little to the right..moved his camera to get the best angle..and asked them to smile as he counted to 3. It reminded me of when my family took a picture for the St. Mary's Parish Directory, except instead of posing beneath a statue of Christ on a cross they were posing amidst a garden of giant stone peni. Who knows, maybe if church's displayed more wang they'd put more butts in the seats, cause let me tell you, the park was packed.

Penis totem poles..penis benches..penis statues..even a giant penis cannon with small penis soldiers marching behind it dotted the landscape. Everywhere I looked families...couples..single gals...and even a tour group of Indian men )were posing for pictures with the penis. And they couldn't have looked happier. Based on the elation etched on everyone's faces I wouldn't have been surprised if the penis' had started revolving while a chorus of "Good Vibrations" played in the background.

I was there with a friend of mine and after walking through the entrance where smaller penis' hung from the ceiling in bundles only to be greeted by a giant, (and it has to be said quite vein-y) penis with a golden head situated in the midst of a beautiful garden of red and yellow marigolds we knew the only choice we had was to take out our cameras and begin what became an incredibly raunchy and highly entertaining photo shoot.

Two hours and too many raunchy poses later we left the park and headed to the beach nearby to chill out and wait for our bus. After purchasing a penis shot glass with vagina holder, of course.

Thoughts on parenthood...

2008-08-31T00:39:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to seriously wonder about the sanity of anyone who choses to become a parent. I mean, I totally see how traveling the accidental pregnancy railroad ends in parenthood. I understand how incredibly tempting it is to climb aboard that train (or its conductor) with little thought to how you'll get off, or maybe too much thought on how you'll get off, and too little thought on what happens post trip. But planned, purposeful parenthood? I just don't get it.

This train of thought (pun intended) hit me while I was acting out the story, "Going On a Bear Hunt," for an audience of fifty or so Korean children last Wednesday. Along with, "Wizard's Den" our Disney trivia game show, and line dancing where hordes of eager Koreans line up to learn the Macarena and the Chicken Dance, Storytelling is an activity we edutainers at English Village get to lead four times a day in the hopes that learning exactly what happens when you give a mouse a cookie and what a very hungry caterpillar downs during his pre-cocoon binge will ignite in our audiences the same passion for the English language that they have for food on a stick and matching couples' t-shirts.

Anyway, in, "Going On a Bear Hunt," the reader (dressed up like either a Golden Girl or Mother Goose depending on personal preference) and sitting in a rocking chair reads the story to the audience taking them on a literary journey through tall grass, a cold river, oozing mud, a dark forest, a snowstorm, and the inevitable damp cave in search of a bear while the assistant runs their ass off around the room putting on the appropriate accessory or piece of clothing for each leg of the "journey," while performing the complex pantomime required to conquer each obstacle. It should probably be noted that, "Going On a Bear Hunt," may, in all likely hood, be the worst children's story ever written. What kind of parent packs up their children and decides to go looking for a bear? The sequel should be called, "Foster Care."

So we've reached the middle of the story and I'm ready to "squelch," and, "squerch," my way through the oozing mud while wearing a clown-shoe sized pair of blue plastic rain boots. By passing the front of the group I decide to make my way between the two rows of kids, you know, really get the audience involved. I start walking forward, careful not to step on any toes with my enormous feet. The kids go crazy and I'm really getting into it: arms flailing, face grimacing, straining every muscle in my body to pull my feet through the mud. That's when this fat kid who's next in the row whispers to the little boy next to him and then sticks his foot out into my path with a huge smirk on his chubby face. I notice the smirk, but it's too late for me to lift my giant-blue-plastic-clown-sized- rain-boot-covered foot and down I go, a perfect face plant onto the library floor. Thanks to my cat like reflexes and super human spacial sense I'm able to avoid flattening the last three children in the front row and bounce back to turn and give fatty a death stare.

I regain my composure, stand up, and wait for the inevitable screams that will most surely erupt when fatty's mother grabs him forcefully by the arm and drags him from the room telling him what a disgrace he is to his family in angry Korean. It doesn't happen. In a moment of panic I turn and look to the back wall where the adults are seated, scanning the bespectacled, dark haired faces for the woman responsible for giving birth to Satan's child. And then I see her...pointing at me...and laughing.

In a perfect world I march over to her and tell her exactly what I think of her fat, ugly, manner-less excuse for a child. I tell her that children are a product of their environment and that if she paid half an much attention to what went into her child's mouth as she does to whether her footwear matches her earrings maybe he'd have a chance at escaping early onset type 2 diabetes. I tell her that there is such a thing as respect, and since it clearly isn't listed in the Korean dictionary, maybe she should learn enough English to read about it in Webster's. Then I tell her that 1982 called and it wants her scrunchie back.

Of course I don't do any of those things. My partner keeps reading the story, I keep acting it out in front of the group, neglecting further entry into the ranks of evil. And when it comes time to hand out the bear pictures and crayons I give fatty the girly teddy bear to color, and a sorry ass nub of a pink crayon.

My IKEA idea

2008-08-23T17:40:00.000-07:00

So sorry for my absence..while I realize that some of you may be enjoying a life of leisure I actually work (right Julie) and haven't had a spare moment to blog in awhile. I have had a spare moment to do the "all you can drink" 13 dollar special..eat overly priced American-chain-restaurant Mexican food while wearing a sombrero...and pose for an impromptu photo shoot on the metal statue of a crocodile in the art colony across the street. As you can see...I lead a very busy life.

Speaking of the art colony across the street..which is called Heyri by the way...I discovered it with friends about a week ago because it was rumored that there is an IKEA there. As the rest of the place is all galleries...an amazing chocolate shop...and a garden full of giant plastic flowers and bugs a la Alice in Wonderland it is only logical to assume that the missing piece of the Heyri puzzle is, yes, an IKEA. So my friend Rachel and I donned white sundresses and floppy hats, so obviously artsy attire, and headed across the street to check it out.

Half an hour of wandering, and 3 photo shoots of ourselves communing with the art later, we found it. I cannot tell you my excitement at being able to purchase Scandinavian modern style furniture and accessories, never mind that Korea has some of the most plentiful and reasonably priced shopping I've found (ever). To make a house (or a closet in the case of my "studio apartment") a home you really can't do without IKEA.

Excitedly I opened the door, grabbed a giant yellow IKEA shopping bag from the hook, and began the adventure which I was sure would result in total shopping victory. Compared to the markets and "shopping malls" of Korea which are always packed so closely with people, and even more closely with piles and piles and piles of t-shirts and cubic zirconia encrusted jewelry, IKEA was the wide open prairie, a warehouse of wonder where I could maneuver freely, setting my path from kitchen accessories to tea light candles and back again without ever having to change my route.

Unfortunately there was a reason for this abundance of space. Lack of product. I had found the last stop on the IKEA train, the home decor wasteland where "Living rooms made for living" came to die. Where there should have been racks of rugs and piles of posters were a few left over Christmas decorations, a pasta strainer, and some severely over priced purple velour curtains covered in white fuzz and dust. Ok, so maybe I'm exaggerating just a little, but after setting my sights on home decor heaven, I felt robbed.

I did manage to purchase a stack of note cards with water colors of Korean women in traditional dress on them..actually now that I think about it they were probably Japanese women..but that's neither here nor there. I was able to use my incredible crafting skills to matte them with red construction paper, put them in my $1.99 Korean bought gold frames, and hang them on my wall in an incredibly artsy fashion. So though my IKEA idea was a bust, at least my wall looks artsy.

A Spa Adventure

2008-08-12T06:04:00.001-07:00

About two weeks ago I bought the lonely planet guide to South Korea and, other than using it to navigate my way through the maze which is the Seoul underground, I have failed to really use the wealth of information sitting at my finger tips, or more appropriately on my book shelf. So yesterday morning while drinking my third cup of instant-milk-and-sugar-included-probably-the-best-thing-ever-to-come-in-an-aluminum-tube-coffee I decided to crack my book open and plan an adventure...to the spa.

Now, if you know anything about the family I grew up in, or more appropriately the mother I grew up with, you can appreciate the fact that for me finding a spa in a far away town and planning a route to get there is just as adventurous as say...surviving a week in the mountains with only a chop stick, dental floss, and half a nature valley granola bar.

If you haven't had the privilege of meeting Julie Doyle just refer Shelly Long's dazzling performance as Phyllis in, "Troop Beverly Hills," where she takes her troop on a camping trip and ends up at the Beverly Hills Hotel.

Phyllis: The recommendation for a campsite was totally unsuitable. There were no outlets. And there was dirt, and bugs, and....and it rains there.

Change Phyllis to Julie and the girl scout troop to the girls in my fifth grade class and well, you've got my 11th birthday party. Anyway, after much debate and internet research I decided on the Spa Plus in Icheon, about an hour south of Seoul, and convinced two of my girlfriends, Rachel and Che, to join me for a day of total relaxation.

We made it as far as the subway station in Seoul before hitting a navigational snag. Unsure of which subway took us to the bus station and which bus took us to Icheon we stood still and stared intently at the lonely planet guide as if through concentration alone we could make the answer appear. It worked (as if you doubted me) and the answer did appear in the form of a nice and extremely helpful Korean woman who not only told us which subway we had to connect with to reach the bus station, but actually changed her travel plans mid route and got on the subway with us to take us there. She also ended up being an Evangelical missionary and attempted to save our souls on the 3 stop ride between Gangnam station and the Nambu Bus Terminal. She gave it a valiant effort, but I'm pretty sure that saving a Catholic soul like mine has at least a five stop minimum.

On the connecting subway we found ourselves standing next to a college-aged Korean guy with a t-shirt advertising a production of, "The Vagina Monologues." Now I should probably mention the fact that while many Korean t-shirts have english words on them it is HIGHLY unlikely that the wearer knows what the shirt says. Case in point the eight year old girl I had for line dancing the other day who's pink, lace-collared blouse read, "Smack the Bitch," in purple calligraphy. So I thought it was pretty obvious that this guy had no idea what his shirt was advertising or that it even had the word "vagina" on it. I turned to my friends and started to make a smart comment about his unknowing advertisement of a play featuring the female anatomy when he says (in perfect..non-accented..'i lived in philly for 9 years' english) "Oh, have you seen the show?" Great. The one Korean guy on the subway who has a full understanding of his apparel and I'm caught making fun of him. However, there is a happy ending to this tale. Not only did HJ (that was his name) help us find the bus stop..buy our tickets..and get on the correct bus to Icheon he also went to college with a friend of Rachel's. It's a small world after all.

So with our navigational woes behind us we arrived at the Miranda Hotel in Icheon home to the Spa Plus ready for a day of hot tubs, cold plunges, herb baths, mud baths, liquid charcoal baths, saunas, steam rooms, and full body exfoliation all for a meer 12,000 won (or about 12 dollars). Leaving our clothes in our lockers we attempted to wrap the kleenex sized towels around our bodies and shimmy from the locker room into the spa itself, and with one push on the glass door we were officially transported from Land-of-the-Clothed to Nakedville.

Hundreds of naked Korean women were milling about, walking from one pool to another, relaxing, chatting, and getting rubbed down by two elderly masseuses wearing matching see through black bras and red undies. I should definitely mention that at EV our 'weekends' don't fall on Saturday and Sunday so we were visiting the spa on a Monday afternoon, excluding the average middle aged working woman or school student from taking part in the festivities and leaving our eyes to feast on the flesh of a slightly...older crowd. You haven't lived until you've spent the day surrounded by 200 naked Korean grandmas.

As usual the name of each bath was in English, while the directions and precautions were in Korean. I won't lie, the American germ-a-phobe in me was a little hesitant at first of sinking my tush into a bubbling bath of yellow mud along side thirty other foreign bottoms, but it has to be said that Korean women do have beautiful skin, so in the name of vanity I took the plunge. I was pleasantly surprised by all the baths except the liquid charcoal, which left me smelling like a piece of barbequed chicken. However, if the way to a man's heart is truly through his stomach then the Korean women might be onto something.

After about an hour of basking and plunging we decided to wander over to the massage tables and make an appointment to treat ourselves to a gentle rub down. I went first, climbing up onto the plastic covered massage table and laying face up in preparation for bliss. The masseuse started by covering my face in warm towels and then a mud mask, pretty normal, and very nice. Then the fun started. Putting on a pair of gloves which felt more like Brillow pads she started furiously rubbing my skin starting at my feet, moving upwards, and leaving no 'stone unturned' if you catch my drift. When she had reached my neck she doused me with warm water, spanked me on the hip, and instructed me (in Korean) to turn onto my side.

With the addition of the warm water the plastic massage table had now turned into a veritable slip-and-slide. My knuckles turned white as I tried to grab onto the side of the table and hold myself up as she again started at my feet, this time throwing my top leg into the air so she could pumice all the way up to my inner thigh. I felt like a giant foot being pedicured. Another slap, this time on my bottom, and I rolled onto my back so the process could begin again. I rested my head down on the table, closed my eyes, and tried to relax and remember that I had chosen to have this done, had PAID to have this done. It was at this point that another Korean woman came over to chat. Trying to get my masseuse's attention she leaned against the table which, it has to be said, was level with her pelvic area. Suddenly the only thought running through my mind was, "Pubic hair on my elbow! Pubic hair on my elbow!" but before I could utter a sound, I was spanked a third time, rolled again, and pumiced anew.

When the "exfoliation" had ended she again doused me with warm water, covered me in soap suds, and with a final smack on the rear instructed me to, "Showah." Rinsing off I couldn't help but think I had never felt so violated, and yet my skin had never felt so smooth.

South Korea: Clothing optional & TP included.

2008-08-05T00:41:00.001-07:00

I realized today as I walked (naked) from the gym shower to my locker to put my swim suit on just how naked the people of South Korea are...and I like it. I've belonged to gyms and been to spas in the states and while there's a small amount of nakedness, I have to say the nudity comfort zone just isn't there. I'm not talking sexual nudity. I'm just talking about good, old, clothing optional, nude-and-crude, be free, nakedness. There's no frantic grabbing for a robe or towel, showering with a bathing suit on, or even refraining from looking around or (God forbid) in the mirror. In fact it often states in the rules that you must shower naked, and leave the shower dry (which means drying off naked). And I'd be lying if I said I didn't take the opportunity to check myself out in the full length mirrors which line the locker room walls on the walk back to my locker (also done naked). Don't lie, you do it too.

At first I thought this resident nudity must be because South Korean woman are all thin, all toned, and basically all look like 12 year old boys. Not so. Old, young, thin, fat, tall, short, and everything in between if they're within 12 feet of a public shower...they're naked. Today I saw two middle aged women having a conversation in the locker room. One was drying her hair while the other fixed the polish on her toes......and yes, they were naked. And while I'm sure having body hang-up's doesn't end in the good ol'US of A it is nice to be in a place where there is such comfort being in your own skin.

Besides the plentiful opportunities for public nudity my other favorite thing about South Korea is the amazing deals at the grocery stores. Case in point, I just purchased 9 cans of tuna fish and 4 rolls of toilet paper for about 10 dollars. I mean, seriously, what a deal! The fact that the items were all packaged together in a "buy 9 cans get 4 rolls free" set just puts a smile on my face. I'm not sure what the thinking behind this steal of a deal was (perhaps that after eating the tuna you're eventually going to need the tp) but I like it. It made much more sense than the carton of skim milk I bought that had another carton of whole milk attached to it. If I'm making the effort to drink fat free milk clearly I won't be needing the full-of-fat version..maybe it was a "mix your own 2%" marketing scheme. Maybe I'll try mixing different amounts of fat free and full-of-fat milk and see what I like the best. Regardless, it needs to be said that purchasing just one item without another attached to it, is nearly impossible.

I think this stems from the South Koreans' LOVE of packaging food. Hotdogs are individually plastic wrapped. You can buy a milk shake in a plastic bag with a spout. Gatorade comes not only in a can, but in bottles of all sizes. And pepperoni pizza comes with green peppers and corn..but that's neither here nor there.

i must be tan...

2008-07-29T23:31:00.000-07:00

I made my first trip to Dongdaemun market on Monday. Stalls..and stalls..and stalls of clothes, leather, watches, jewelry..and a huge 24/hr mall called appropriately am/pm. In the mall I discovered the most glorious booth that makes eye glasses...prescription eye glasses..in 10 minutes..for $35. Needless to say I now have the first of what will be many new frames.

So my friends and I are walking through the market and these 2 men in robes and turbans come up to me. The conversation went a bit like this:

Man in turban: Kazakhstan?

Me: umm..no.

Man in turban: Afghanistan?

Me: no..sorry.

Man in turban: Uzbekistan?

Me: America

Man in turban: No..you joke!

His friend: You joke!

Me: Haha..no..really..I'm from America.

Men in turbans: You joke!! You joke!!

My friend Rachel: Well at least you know you're really tan.

It was pretty funny.

Equally funny was our hunt for dinner. Korean food is great..unfortunately the menus are all in korean..so we wandered around for half an hour trying to find a restaurant that served one of the 3 Korean dishes we knew how to pronounce. We finally ended up going back to the first place we tried..and the owner and his wife made us a "special menu" of beepimbop which is basically rice, veggies, and chili sauce. They gave us all 3 kinds..cold..hot with an egg...and their special beepimbop with fish eggs on it (which was actually pretty good.) The best part was that after we got our food the owner came over and instructed us to "mix" the veggies into the rice...which apparently I wasn't good enough at..so he and his wife did it for me. Thanks. Really.

The Pumpkin Hero

2008-07-17T20:39:00.000-07:00

So I just got done doing my first ever mainstage show at EV. Like I said before I'm understudying a part in The Pumpkin Hero and the girl who I'm understudying left last night for vacation...so I'm on! I think overall it went really well. It feels so good to be back on the stage again, I've really missed it! The audience was pretty full and I managed to suck out a few laughs from the kids, so what more can you ask for, right?

On a much less exciting note I started decorating my room. I bought some wall paper which looks like the sky and instead of really putting it on the wall I just taped it up, but it looks really cool. I also got 2 giant sunflower stickers...and again instead of sticking them...cut them out and taped them up too. I like the effect..very summer-y. I also made my first major purchase of a new digital camera. I figured when I had to start opening the lense cover on mine with my finger before taking pictures at mudfest that maybe it was time. I went to this huge electronics mall in Seoul...literally an entire floor dedicated to digital cameras and ended up with a Kodak EasyShare M863..which is a cute little point and shoot camera. After looking online to compare I know I got a really good deal on it too. So score one for the home team.

Boryeong Mud Festival

2008-07-15T02:13:00.000-07:00

Just returned from spending my days off at the Boryeong Mud Festival...and yes, it was muddy. We took the train from Seoul to Boryeong on Sunday night and got in about 11pm. We stayed in a hotel by the beach..basically a big room with a small kitchen and bath and nothing else...so 15+ people spread blankets and pillows around on the floor and headed out to get drunk enough not to worry about the lack of mattress..or anything.

Monday was our first real day at Mud Fest. On the walk there we were stopped by a Korean tv producer and asked if we wanted to be extras in a korean tv drama..instant fame..sign me up! We each got painted with mud( which is dug up in the area and used to make cosmetics and such because of it's nutrients) by these crazy old women who were working on the set and then we were told to get in the blow up mud wrestling ring...and go for it. That we did. After shooting for about half an hour we headed down to Daecheon beach to rinse off.

The rest of the day was...muddy. There was a mud "swimming" pool..2 giant mud slides..a mud jail...a mud wrestling ring..and tons of crazy mud covered people. The festival is geared towards tourists so there were even "Restaurants for Foriegners" ..called exactly that...that served hamburgers and hotdogs. The craziest part was the paparazzi. These korean photographers would follow us around taking pictures of basically everything we did. One woman stayed with us for half an hour trying to make us "jump..jump" so she could take pictures of westerners getting wild. At night there were bands...a dance troupe..and a great interpretive dance show on the beach..which I missed completely as I was doing an interpretive dance of my own.

I am now covered in mosquito bites..and really really ready for a shower...but all in all it was a great trip.

Week 1

2008-07-06T00:38:00.000-07:00

So I'm closing in on the end of my first week here at the EV. I think I have the schedule down pretty well, and I'm spending a lot of time rehearsing the understudy part I'm doing in the Pumpkin Hero. The show is about a boy who eats only pumpkins...which make him fart...so he gets kicked out of town. Of course, he uses his magnificent flatulence to keep robbers away from a temple, and becomes a hero. As if you thought it could end any differently. Come on.

Last night I had my first Korean bbq and I have to say that I was extremely apprehensive, but extremely impressed. Good stuff. I have yet to eagerly dive into a bowl of kimchee, but I'm working on it. I did dive into a bottle of soju, which ended up being much more fun, but that's neither here nor there.

Today I did the game show, Wizard's Den, four times. I can't tell you my excitement that not only is there a game show called Wizard's Den, but there are robes..wands..and even a magical fantasia-style hat involved. It's pretty intense. Though not as intense as the South Korean's passion for the macarena. Yesterday I taught the macarena to a four-some of adults..who looked as if they were on a double date to the English Village...pretty hot stuff. They excelled..especially at the booty shaking parts..go figure.

I guess that's all I have to report. Tomorrow is my first day off and I'm not sure what I'm going to do..I think go-carts may be on the agenda..and laundry..which as we all know just go hand in hand.

I made it!

2008-07-01T21:22:00.001-07:00

Just a quick post to say that after a very long 14+ hour plane ride I finally made it to Gyeonggi Village. Moved in last night..and am going through my first day of orientation today..watching shows..paperwork..just getting in the groove of things.

Things are good so far..even though it's pouring down rain. I was greeted at the airport not by my pick-up service (they were very late) but by the sight of a grandmother holding a bottle to her grandson's naked privates so he could pee into it. What a welcome. Excellent.

Leaving on a jet plane...

2008-06-28T09:45:00.000-07:00

Well I am officially leaving for South Korea on Monday at 11:29 am. I fly from Grand Rapids to Chicago and then directly to Incheon International Airport, arriving Tuesday at 4:50 pm. Needless to say it will be a long couple of days.

I start work right away on Wednesday with a day of orientation: watching shows...company meeting..shopping for basic things..ect.. and on July 3rd I have my audition for the first two shows.

Right now I'm just packing and trying to get last minute things organized (I've only had 2 months to do everything but it's amazing what I've left to the last minute).

That's all for now...

Jessica

Gyeonggi English Village

2008-06-13T09:17:00.000-07:00

Greetings!

This is the first official installment in my year long blog about living and working in South Korea at the Gyeonggi English Village. I actually interviewed..auditioned..and received my contract almost 2 months ago, however the work visa application is a long (and frustrating) process, so things haven't moved as swiftly as I had hoped they would. Oh well, more time on Townline Lake for me!
I am pleased to report, however, that I have received my visa application number, and scheduled my interview at the Korean Consulate in Chicago for Friday June 20th!! Which means I will be leaving the states during the final days of June, the 28th-30th.

I am sooo excited about this opportunity to see another part of the world and more importantly to perform (and be paid for it)!! As an "edutainer" at Gyeonggi I will be performing original children's theatre pieces geared towards teaching the English language to the students and visitors at the English Village. This includes musicals, plays, street performances, story telling, parades, and (I'm told) even some line dancing! If you know me (which you do or you're probably not reading this) then you know exactly how up my alley this job is!

As a side note...after signing my contract with Gyeonggi I received my acceptance letter into the graduate music program at Campbellsville University in Kentucky. (I had auditioned at CU just before hearing about the job openings at the English Village.) The great people there have allowed me to defer my enrollment for a year (and keep my scholarship) so the tentative plan is to begin the masters program there in the fall of 2009 to study vocal performance and conducting. But (and I am living proof of this) who knows where life will take me and what connections I may make while in South Korea.

Ok, I guess that's all for now. I will do my best to keep this blog updated and to post some pictures as soon as I have them!

Jessica